Total Frat Move Finds Controversy; Says No to Girls with Short Hair
The year of 2013 has been no stranger to controversy. Between the government shut down and Miley’s vivacious tongue, we have enough squabble and scandal to compete with an exposed Janet Jackson. Yet there seems to be a common thread throughout the year’s scandals, they all feel relevant. Healthcare reform, naked Disney pop stars, decriminalization of marijuana, and legalization of gay marriage all reflect an ever-changing and (somewhat) adaptable society.
That’s why whenever I found myself on the popular TotalFratMove.com, a website of articles and social commentary from Greek organizations around the country, I thought I had traveled back in time. Surely, a website whose top trending article is “Why Girls Should Not Cut Their Hair Short” is from an ancient era, not in the 21st century where gender equality has become the societal norm? But as much as I would have loved to find myself in a standoff with Biff Tannen while Doc yells “GREAT SCOTT, MARTY”, I did not time travel. The article was published less than 24 hours ago and is already a top-read article, according to the site.
The author spends the majority of the text highlighting celebrities who have opted for the short ‘do, explaining how less attractive they were post pixie cut. Examples are Beyoncè, Rihanna, and Emma Watson. Alas, even the beautiful Jennifer Lawrence was targeted by the article, claiming they would only “bang her if she lost ten pounds” and her haircut result was as equally disastrous. These comparisons serve as a foundation for his main point, that if they can’t pull it off, then neither will you.
Don’t worry though, the article is not entirely void of perspective! It addresses the “But, we don’t cut our hair for you, we cut it for ourselves!” counterarguments by stating short hair will not only hurt your chances with a guy, but will inevitably cause lack of self-esteem:
“All of those odd insecurities you have about your looks are only highlighted with short hair. Other girls will notice them immediately as well. If you have bad teeth or some other sort of imperfection, with short hair, you’re putting it front and center. Even if you don’t have a glaring flaw, there’s one thing of which I’m sure: your face is going to look fat. Need further proof? Look at that picture of ole Jennifer Lawrence above and remember that she looked fine before.”
The article is void of any recognition for ladies who cannot grow hair due to genetics, disease, or chemotherapy. And of course, it does not even consider the gay community, who usually do not spend their time pining over boy’s opinions of their hair.
If there is anything that the year 2013 has taught me, it’s that everyone is entitled to their opinions. Even if their opinion is stuck in an archaic time, it is our wonderful and fundamental right to voice our beliefs and twerk on Robin Thicke if we want to! Thus, why should anyone pay attention to this article if you disagree? Simply close the tab and keep on scrollin’, am I right? Controversial articles are posted daily, most tackling much more sensitive topics than hair length. It should be mentioned that this is not the first time TotalFratMove.com has published disputed columns. Other popular articles include, “Rush Boobs From this Week”, articles with photos of girls covering their breasts with Greek symbols drawn on them, and “69 Thoughts a Guy Has During a Terrible Hookup”.
The difference lies mainly in the messenger. The above article was published by a website that is a self proclaimed representation of the “nation’s finest Greek Organizations”. Make no mistake, TotalFratMove.com is very popular. There are books published under the same name and the Twitter handle @totalfratmove has over 750,000 followers.
Traditionally, Greek organizations on campus serve to provide a brotherhood/sisterhood for members, opportunities for leadership and interpersonal skills, and perform social functions for the community. Whether you agree with the article or not, anyone a part of an organization would only hope that it’s being represented in the best way possible. I’m not an expert, but instructing females like they’re objects, basing everything off your preference of sexuality, is not exactly “cutting” it.
So join the line up, TotalFratMove.com. Hopefully Miley’s buzz-cut won’t offend you too much.
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